It’s now thirteen years since I was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and eleven years since my last article for SEN Magazine, which was titled Positive thinking. So, do I still think that being autistic is a positive? My answer is yes, although a lot has changed in my life, especially my living situation. I am now alone as my Mum passed away in 2022. Here are the reasons why I feel positive still.
Communication I still find it hard to talk to groups of people, so I try to listen to one person at a time. If I am in a group and not talking, and one person comments to me about it, I will say that I am listening, and I tell them why. If I was to do a workshop with a group of people including children I would say that I can only talk to one person at a time.
Tone of voice As I don’t go out much these days, I try to speak normally. The only time I might speak harshly is in anger. The one time I did speak with a harsh tone was to my mum and she was ill with dementia. She had a go at me and I retaliated, even though I knew she didn’t mean it. I felt guilty afterwards.
Sensory overload I know now that this is one of my main autistic traits, especially loud noises. If I am in a room with people who speak loudly and it starts to affect my head, I leave the room and go into another one for quietness, until my head feels normal again. The only time I was unable to do this was when I was in hospital. Knowing what to do when this happens is my way to feel better.
Routine This has changed a lot since my Mum passed. I still write (hence this article), and I have a semi routine when I do. When my Mum had carers come in to help her with her meals, I had to learn to be patient about mealtimes as the carers would often be late. It was hard as I have to take medications for IBS a while before meals. I found a way to work this out so there were few tempers. Now I am on my own, I have more of a set time for my meals but not as to what I eat. I order ready meals from a company and if I am getting low, I will just eat what I have left in the freezer, even if it is the same meal as the day before. Also, if I run out of dinners, and I’m expecting the delivery that day, I swap my meal of crackers with the main meal so I have crackers at lunch time and dinner at five. I have tried to continue the morning routine Mum and I had when she was with me. We used to do housework, gardening or shopping. I try to do some housework or online shopping in the morning, then I will start on my writing. Having this same routine now helps me feel that my life is getting back on track, even though it isn’t the same without my Mum. Just harder doing it on my own. The answer to doing housework is to do a bit at a time and not all at once, so it doesn’t feel too much to do or overwhelming.
Learning I am still learning more about autism and being autistic. Now that I write children’s books featuring autistic characters finding confidence, and articles about being autistic and making videos about autism, I am finding out more about myself. The more I learn about myself and autism, the more I feel I have to give to others. Now that I have ‘lived experience’ (that makes me sound old), I feel able to write more authentically about autism. Because of this I have got an autism organisation and libraries interested in working with me, and a writing workshop I have created for SEN children about using their special interests to start a career. As the words say in my earlier article, I am still learning all the time.
And those are ways you can make autism a positive life experience and not feel negative about it 🙂.