Jane Craig on the language used by parents, educators and dyslexic individuals to frame their experience with dyslexia, and she describes the impact that even a subtle re-framing can make.
When a child struggles, parents and school staff often use words like Issue or Problem to explain what the child is going through. It’s a common reaction when trying to identify why a young person is having challenges with their learning, and it’s understandable why people use this kind of word, but my experience tells me that there are ways of talking about dyslexia that can be more helpful. There can even be negative impacts, which are also important to consider. We still hear dyslexia referred to as something that people suffer from, as if it’s an illness or disorder, and something that needs to be treated or cured.
For many children with dyslexia, self-esteem and self-efficacy are poor. Regular negative feedback, such as being told they’ve made a mistake at school, can affect feelings of low self-worth and agency over their own learning, leading to feelings of helplessness and an over-dependency on those around them.
Negative feedback in a shared space, such as the classroom, can cause embarrassment and shame. Even at home, it’s important to consider who else is around and where the feedback is given; receiving feedback in the presence of a higher-achieving sibling, for example, may lead to the young person feeling negative about themselves.
It’s also important to consider whether the negative feedback is being balanced out by positive feedback—dyslexic learners often feel that they rarely meet classroom expectations, so even small opportunities to offer praise are important. Other things that can help are ensuring feedback is clear and specific in relation to the task itself, and is not linked to personal attributes. Giving concrete guidance on how to strengthen the area of need, as opposed to simply highlighting mistakes, can also help to mitigate the potential impact of negative feedback. For example, OK, there are a few spellings we need to take a look at, but I can see you were trying really hard on that. Showing optimism and a belief that the child can develop, as opposed to focusing solely on what they find hard, can also be helpful.
More generally, research highlights that the language of neurodiversity, and drawing on a strengths-based approach during diagnosis and beyond can be particularly helpful. This means seeing dyslexia as a learning difference rather than a deficit or disability, and viewing the brain as working in a different way—not worse, not better, just different. This also means focusing on the student as a unique individual, with unique strengths and weaknesses. Sharing and opening up about your own strengths and weaknesses as an individual, and the ways of working you find helpful (and those you don’t) can help a child to recognise that we don’t all learn in the same way, and we all face challenges at times. At home, it can be important to consider siblings and the comparisons that are often made. For many parents, making comparisons is what helps them to first recognise that their child is struggling—a younger sibling may appear to overtake their older sibling with reading, for example. However, framing those things as differences, rather than describing it as an issue or problem, can help to avoid negative feelings for the dyslexic child, for example we’ve noticed that Harry learns in a different way to his sister as opposed to we’ve noticed he can’t do some things that his sister can do easily.
The language of dyslexia is particularly important when a child or young person receives their formal identification of dyslexia, which interestingly, is typically referred to in the professional world as a diagnosis, again reinforcing the idea that dyslexia is a problem or illness. It’s tricky, because as assessors we are bound by professional guidelines, one of which requires us to include a section titled Diagnostic Decision in dyslexia reports. Personally, I prefer to avoid this term when talking to an individual about the identification of dyslexia, instead focusing on their strengths, while also helping them to understand why they find some tasks more challenging.
When framed considerately, the process of having an assessment can help to promote self-understanding and social support, and it provides an opportunity to encourage a positive dyslexic identity—and in some cases, pride in being dyslexic. Having their dyslexia positioned positively during the assessment feedback process can be an important step in helping that person learn positive language which they can use to help explain their dyslexia to others, too. This might of course take longer to develop for some than others, and might vary as the young person experiences different environments—a teenager, for example, might feel certain pressures to fit in, and might not want to make themselves stand out by highlighting their learning differences, or perhaps will only open up to their closest circle of friends.
So what can we do to promote a positive mindset on dyslexia? The language and words we use are important. Balance out the challenges, and focus on the specific struggles a young person is having, as opposed to making a more broad statement which could cast shame or embarrassment on the child. Choosing words which are less permanent can help too. Lily tells me she finds it hard to keep up sometimes. Parents sometimes ask if their child will always be dyslexic. Again, this implies that dyslexia is something that will go away, and that we want to get rid of. Instead, we could ask how dyslexia affect the child as she gets older.
How we discuss school is also important. Negative views about the support being offered, or the perceived lack of support, if shared within earshot of a child, can build the viewpoint that school is a place where the child won’t succeed. It’s understandable how these views develop, especially for parents who feel they are not being listened to, but it’s helpful to try and reframe these viewpoints, especially when talking in front of a child. For example, instead of the school just doesn’t care or the school is useless, we might say we’re finding it hard to get help from the school. A subtle change in emphasis can have a big impact on how a child perceives their learning difference and their school experience. And sometimes this also leads to an improved parental relationship with the school, which in turn can mean a more positive experience all round.Having a dyslexic child can feel like a battle at times—a constant fight to get support, so it’s natural to focus on the negatives when you see your child struggling or upset. But reframing your mindset and being more mindful about the words you use can help to promote positivity, and can have a big impact on yours and your child’s dyslexia journey. This in turn will help to raise a child’s self-esteem and improve their self-efficacy, meaning they are more resilient to the challenges they face and more open to benefiting from the support that is available.