The prospect of getting away should be something to look forward to, but it can feel like a daunting exercise in logistics, writes Natalie Verbo, who has an autistic daughter, and works professionally with families of children with special educational needs.
Depending on budget and time of year, you may want to jet off to a warm weather getaway, or visit family, or you might just be looking to fill the holiday with activities for your children while you are working. There are plenty of options to suit every family, and to help you vary things up a bit during the break. With our own autistic daughter (who’s 7), we’ve enjoyed Council-run short breaks (look on your local authority’s website under Short Breaks) which offer day camps involving anything from led play, to horse riding and art and dance sessions. These can be a good option for working parents as many will also offer early drop-off and late pick-up. The school holidays can be an opportunity to spend time with our parents, and for children to see grandparents. Staying at home or visiting relatives can give you more flexibility than a foreign getaway by allowing the family to do different things at different times. We’ve noticed with our own children that many of the things our son (who’s 6) likes are boring or distressing for our daughter. Sometimes, compromise can make everyone unhappy, so don’t feel guilty about splitting the group up and doing different activities.
If you’re with extended family, think about ways you can sensitively educate or brief them to be able to help your child. That might mean teaching some phrases to use, how to interpret their communication, or showing them in advance a communication board or PECS. Reducing stress for them will reduce stress for you, too. Make time for yourself and your spouse in the midst of it all. You deserve a break too. This can sometimes get forgotten, and parents can feel guilty about making time for themselves when they have parenting or caring responsibilities. On our recent Christmas trip with my parents to Wales, my husband and I set aside half a day for a spa visit, which was a great way of relaxing while the children got to spend some time with their grandparents.
Do some research. Look for recommendations and reviews, and take advice from organisations you trust such as the National Autistic Society or NASEN. Do something different, but keep some familiarity. It’s great to do new things and make memories, but it’s always good to have the back-up of some comforting and familiar things for your child to help provide some semblance of routine while you’re away, which also helps the transition back to school when the holidays are over. Some people build in elements of their normal routine, in which case you might want to look at evening babysitting or childcare options. For others, your child might be doing well with their speech therapist or one-to-one and you may wish to carry some of that on while you’re away. Take some favourite toys, books or a tablet loaded with their favourite shows or music.